Time Travel!!

Posted: January 15, 2011 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , ,

If I had a time machine for one hour…

That’s no fun, one day.

If I had a time machine for one day, I think I would have to go to the crucifixion, right? Or the resurrection?! Crap.

What about the day Moses parted the Red Sea? That would be pretty freakin awesome

Or the day Jericho fell?

I’d avoid the future, it’s a mystery for a reason.

And mid-evil times. I would surely die.

I would like to witness the creation of the world, but that took a week and where am I going to stand before the Earth is created?

OH!! I would go to the Garden of Eden and chill nekkid with Adam, Eve, God, and non-hostile animals. That would be cool. I wonder if Eve was hot? I think so, I think we were meant to be good looking until the gene pool went to crap and our health and decision-making went to crap.

I think it would go a little something like this…

Me: 😮


God: Chill dude. (to me:) Who the frick gave you a time machine?

Me: Blog idea, no worries

Eve: Oooohhh, he’s kinda cute 🙂

Adam: What is he wearing?

God: Oh, those are clothes, you’ll find out soon enough. *Sigh*

Me: Yeah! You see, you’re gonna do something stupid, (it will specifically be Eve’s fault) Then your descendants will all be really stupid for a few thousand years, then God will have to send his son to die for all the crap you caused us 😀

Adam: Uh?

God: Can you not remind me of that and at least let me enjoy this for just a LITTLE bit?!

Eve (still mesmerized by an actual good-looking person around): <3<3<3<3

God: Just…>.<

Me (playing fetch with a lion and cracking open a coca-cola while catching delicious grapes in my mouth): This place is pretty nice, thanks for ruining it for us, guys

God: I think it’s time for you to go back home

Eve: Nooooo!

Me: But it’s freakin’ awesome here!

God: This is why I put an angel here, you know?

Me: Well, that won’t happen for another few months. You created time, you should know this!

Adam: Hey, maybe this weird guy can help with all the work around here. All Eve does is talk to weird lizard things…

Me (to Eve): Oh, yeah, you might want to stop that

Eve: But they’re so cute and give me great advice!

God: I give up…


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