Archive for January, 2011

This video kind of speaks for itself. Jesus wipes all that crap away. I love songs like this, Ocean Floor, East to West, etc. Grace ftw

Time Travel!!

Posted: January 15, 2011 in Uncategorized
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If I had a time machine for one hour…

That’s no fun, one day.

If I had a time machine for one day, I think I would have to go to the crucifixion, right? Or the resurrection?! Crap.

What about the day Moses parted the Red Sea? That would be pretty freakin awesome

Or the day Jericho fell?

I’d avoid the future, it’s a mystery for a reason.

And mid-evil times. I would surely die.

I would like to witness the creation of the world, but that took a week and where am I going to stand before the Earth is created?

OH!! I would go to the Garden of Eden and chill nekkid with Adam, Eve, God, and non-hostile animals. That would be cool. I wonder if Eve was hot? I think so, I think we were meant to be good looking until the gene pool went to crap and our health and decision-making went to crap.

I think it would go a little something like this…

Me: 😮


God: Chill dude. (to me:) Who the frick gave you a time machine?

Me: Blog idea, no worries

Eve: Oooohhh, he’s kinda cute 🙂

Adam: What is he wearing?

God: Oh, those are clothes, you’ll find out soon enough. *Sigh*

Me: Yeah! You see, you’re gonna do something stupid, (it will specifically be Eve’s fault) Then your descendants will all be really stupid for a few thousand years, then God will have to send his son to die for all the crap you caused us 😀

Adam: Uh?

God: Can you not remind me of that and at least let me enjoy this for just a LITTLE bit?!

Eve (still mesmerized by an actual good-looking person around): <3<3<3<3

God: Just…>.<

Me (playing fetch with a lion and cracking open a coca-cola while catching delicious grapes in my mouth): This place is pretty nice, thanks for ruining it for us, guys

God: I think it’s time for you to go back home

Eve: Nooooo!

Me: But it’s freakin’ awesome here!

God: This is why I put an angel here, you know?

Me: Well, that won’t happen for another few months. You created time, you should know this!

Adam: Hey, maybe this weird guy can help with all the work around here. All Eve does is talk to weird lizard things…

Me (to Eve): Oh, yeah, you might want to stop that

Eve: But they’re so cute and give me great advice!

God: I give up…


The Perfect Woman:

Posted: January 13, 2011 in Uncategorized
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Day 26: The Kind of Person that Attracts You

I don’t have a set list of things a girl has to be, but I of course have an ideal:

  • Hair is so important
  • Long hair is better than short hair
  • Dark hair is better than light hair
  • Smile. Missing teeth = bad
  • Too much fat = gross
  • Not enough fat = also gross. This is why anorexia is unattractive
  • A good, body, see; Kim Kardashian, not fat, but not a twig either, yeah I’d say Kim K has the perfect body
  • Someone who stays active; also, see last 3 bullets
  • Confidence is hot, but shyness can be cute as well though
  • Extreme insecurities is a turn off. If you can’t accept who you are how am I supposed to? This is also why things like anorexia and too much make-up are unattractive
  • Sense of humor, can take jokes and tell them, someone who can laugh at themselves, see last bullet
  • Someone who likes good music!! If you get into the car and turn on Kiss 107 or country, get out.
  • A fellow believer is extremely important, maybe  not for one date, but I won’t marry someone that isn’t a Christian. Not because I don’t hate nonChristians, but it’s hard to have a healthy relationship when your life is driven by opposite values and stuff
  • Pretty eyes, color doesn’t matter, just pretty eyes
  • Nice, soft, clear skin
  • Someone who doesn’t talk too much, but is interesting to listen to
  • Someone I can have deep, intellectual conversations with
  • Honesty
  • Transparency
  • Trustworthy
  • Smart
  • Genuine, not shallow
  • Cheerful
  • Kind
  • Caring
  • Talent, singing, dancing, athletic, anything, being good at something is hot
  • Sporty, girls who can talk about sports are so rare and so hot
  • Someone who doesn’t care too much about how they look, sweatpants and a ponytail can be more attractive than you think
  • Outrageous piercings and trashy tattoos are not attractive. Snake bites and tramp stamps = bad
  • Small, as in smaller than me, which is why I hate my height, it’s weird dating taller girls

Like I said, these are just a few, vague, ideal traits. Just because you don’t like baseball doesn’t mean I won’t like you, and appearance is the least important thing 🙂

Day 24 – Your favorite movie and what it’s about.

My favorite movie is The Quick and the Dead. It’s a western about an unruly town ruler, (Gene Hackman) a preacher, (Russel Crowe) and a mysterious girl who is mysteriously good with a gun, (Sharon Stone) and lots and lots of gun fighting 🙂 Great story, great acting, great action, great effects, best movie ever.


Day 25 – Someone who fascinates you and why.

Hmm…My pastor,  Jeff Metzger. I’ve never actually had a conversation with him, but I’ve listened to him every week for five years, and he’s a ridiculously interesting person. He has the funniest stories! His sermons are always outside the box and convincing. His wisdom reminds me of Solomon, legit. You could ask him anything about the Bible and he would have the answer. His office is book, upon book, upon book, organized perfectly. He has the most interesting past, he’s traveled and preached everywhere and experienced so many things. But what amazes me most is his unrelenting faith. He started this huge, successful church from absolutely nothing because God told him to. And just look at where that giant leap of faith has gone. It’s true, if you have faith as a mustard seed you can move mountains. I can’t wait to sit down and talk with him someday.

A lot of people fascinate me. I’m gonna do more of these. I’m reading Acts, so I think Paul is next. Then King David.

~ Ry XD

One Hour To Live

Posted: January 11, 2011 in Uncategorized
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So…I was just told that in exactly one hour (after this blog is submitted) I will faint and die. That’s it. Not tragically, painfully, or dramatically, just faint and never wake up.


What am I going to do with this last hour of my life, you ask?

Well that’s what I’m here to tell you, Grasshopper!

First of all, I would take advantage of my blogging time and write about what I really think of some people, but would ruin relationships to tell them. Also, I would leave a Facebook message saying the same blahbity blah that I will say to my family in the next step, to all 156 of my only true friends! If you aren’t on Facebook or not a friend of mine on Facebook, consider yourself unfriended.

Secondly, I’d tell my family I love them and what not, and to save their sorrow for souls in doubt, cuz I’ll be in paradise 🙂 (Which is why I’m not gonna worry or freak, I’m at peace about this. I just want to enjoy my last few…hour)

“Save sorrow for the souls in doubt”

Thirdly, I would drive to a certain girl’s house, (hopefully she’s home…) Kiss her, tell her how I really feel and that I’m sorry I didn’t take a chance when I should have. This would take up probably a good 20 minutes of my hour, but I’ve been dying (Ironic?) to do this.

Now, about 35-40 minutes left.

Now that I’ve taken care of all the friends and family closure business, on to the funnest half hour of my life.

I would drive down I-275 as fast as my little Grand Prix will take me! I’ll go to the airport, (traffic doesn’t slow me down at this point in my life) I’d run to the nearest plane, jump in the cockpit, and take off! There’s no point in being scared, I’m dying either way.

I’m taking this plane to space.

I would fly straight up as fast as possible until I finally leave Earth’s gravitational pull. Now, I wait. All I can do is float away into space for the last 10 minutes of my life and hope I see something awesome, which impossible not to see in space. I’ll enjoy the view until the rest of my hour is up, after which I can see it anytime I want. 🙂


Well, the first half is true. The second half is what I would want to do.  The most important thing would be getting things off my chest that have been taking up space there for so long. And I just can’t get over how amazing space is.

What would you do with an hour to live?

Day 23: 5 Pics of Famous Girls I Find Attractive


Jen Ledger

Jen Ledger's drumsticks and sexy accent made "Awake" Skillet's best album yet, and that, my friends, is hot

Alyssa Milano

Alyssa Milano is not only a hot girl, she's a hot girl who can talk baseball. I believe Jesus once said "there is none hotter than these"

Kim Kardashian

Kim Kardashian. Nuff said.

Julianne Hough

Julianne Hough can sing and dance. Well.

Sarah Anthony of The Letter Black

When Sarah Anthony screamed in "Away From Me" my heart melted

Day 21: One Of My Favorite TV Shows

Hmm…Seinfeld? Groundbreaking, real comedy. It was so stupid but so relevant and hilarious. It dealt with the little issues that everyone knows about but doesn’t realize or talk about.

And gave me sooo many quotes to slip into random conversations.

I was gonna by license plates that say “ASS MAN”

I want to have “The Contest” with my friends.

Never double-dip.

Never walk in on a guy changing after swimming. And don’t believe what you see!

I could go on forever, but you get it.

And after 20 years it still applies to every day life!

Greatest show ever. Period. End of story.